2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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