Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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