The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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