ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
