just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
