haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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