wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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