ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
