someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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