as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
