He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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