Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
