I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
