So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
