you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
