Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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