she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
