I wannas sexs uuuuu
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
