garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
