So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
