I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My balls are so social today.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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