dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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