you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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