I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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