so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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