Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
