it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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