I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
