i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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