Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
