Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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