i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
