and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
