So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
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So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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