And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
third nipple confirmed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
