why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sext me about skeletons
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
