somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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