Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
