on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
