do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
