I think I died a long time ago.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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