They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
