Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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