i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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