she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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