yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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