you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
