Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize