Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
