Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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