I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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