the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
