You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
