so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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