So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
