I think I am morally bankrupt
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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