HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
